Happy Wednesday! I’m happy to report that *so far* working from home is a bit easier than it was the first week, in spite of an extra cranky baby yesterday. I know that it’s the easiest it’s ever going to be now, because as she gets older/less sleepy/more mobile and curious about the world, there will be some new challenges to face.
Random discovery from the week, but back when I ran more, I gave my feet more TLC. For the past few months I’ve dropped the ball majorly in that department, and probably TMI, I could pretty much exfoliate one foot with the other they were so rough. The other day on a whim I tried rubbing some of the Well Mom Nipple Cream on the bottoms of my feet and they’re almost baby smooth now. It’s kind of freaky.
On that subject of things I’ve kind of let fall by the wayside, one of the themes I’ve been seeing a lot lately in posts I read from others/things on Instagram is the idea of letting go (maybe because it’s fall??)
For sanity’s sake, you just have to let go of some things. I learned this the hard way after a depressive period after college, and it took me until as recently as last year to work through some of the things I was holding onto. And that doesn’t even mean I’m done, since you accumulate more ish as you move through life.
Here are some of the things I’m trying to let go of:
–The idea “it” needs to be perfect whatever it is. Whether it’s something creative, like a blog post or a video etc, or something like your hair. This just means you’ll keep putting things off until…forever, if you keep waiting.
–My race time/weight/whatever equals my value as a person. For awhile when I was running, it consumed me in sneaky ways that I didn’t even really understand at the time. When I didn’t get my BQ at Sugarloaf in 2015 I was devastated. When I did make it to Boston the next spring, in the middle of my parent’s divorce, I got this idea in my head that I needed to do well in order to make them happy (not “get them back together,” but create some sort of peace). And I was convinced if I weighed more than a certain amount, it meant I wouldn’t be able to run at peak performance.
–Events in the past. They’re there to reflect upon, so we can make better decisions moving forward, but they aren’t meant to weigh us down. I had to learn how to a) take ownership for my own part of an event, and b) learn to let go of the rest. It’s work, but it’s worth it.
–That it’s my fault. I used to think it was common for people to blame others for “bad things” happening, but there’s definitely an equal amount of people who tend to blame themselves, especially with heavier stuff. It’s easier to blame yourself because we are taught from a young age that bad things happen to bad people, so it’s disruptive to the way we view the world to realize that bad things happen to good people/for no reason. It took awhile, but reconstructing that narrative in my head helped let go of shame. (Also connected to the letting go of events in the past).
One of my favorite quotes from Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon: “Wanna fly, you gotta give up on the shit that weighs you down.” Letting go–> moving forward, and it’s a lot easier to do that when you aren’t dragging dead weight. It reminds me of a track workout we used to do in high school with the parachute (only on windy days). Basically, we had a parachute attached to our backs and had to run 400 m before pulling off the Velcro and running another 200ish m. Talk about “letting go”- you felt like you were flying once that parachute came off.
It takes time to get in the swing of releasing old thoughts/habits, and it’s often a personal journey that you have to work on. Some things that help me with letting go:
Writing it down.
Talking to someone (unbiased 3rd party).
Go for a run/hike/swim
Look up “letting go” quotes on Pinerest (some seem sanctimonious, but it can help to remember that you’re not the only one going through this stuff)
A few articles that have very recently helped me with recognizing things I’m hung up on lately:
Motherly- Why New Moms Should Stop Seeking Balance (a reminder that every day is different and some days you hit your groove, other days you won’t)
And of course, from The Hungry Runner Girl:
Why does letting go matter? Because at the end of the day, it helps you have a better relationship with yourself. Not one of us is perfect, we’re just trying to do a little better every day 🙂
What are some things that help you let go?